You could say I’ve had a few hiccups the last 24 weeks of pregnancy, and for most the those 24 weeks I got really down and pulled the “why me” crap I always pull. That was until yesterday. I started reading “For The Love” by Jen Hatmaker and the light bulb just went off. I’ve known for a few months I needed to get back to writing in my gratitude journal but feeling bad everyday sort of made me not want to do much of anything but lie in bed and watch crap tv. After the last few weeks of once again feeling bad I allowed myself to get really down, but even more I’ve allowed myself to experience real fear. I know the fear is not real and something I’m creating in my head and even though I know better in my head, I still can’t seem to stop the fear from creeping in. I wrote a few things down while journaling yesterday that I went back and read today and really felt compelled to share. From this day forward I’m vowing to myself to no longer allow the fear of this pregnancy to take me over and not allow the things that keep happening to me as a result to get me down. I’ve decided to use gratitude instead, and maybe just maybe, things will start to look a little differently. Here are just a few of my realizations.
I must change how I have viewed all my pregnancy issues and instead say thank you each and every day for this baby girl. Even though most days haven’t been pleasant and quite honestly have been downright scary I know in the end every single pain and moment of fear will be worth it. It’s about changing my perception and maybe if I can start to view everything as a blessing instead of a “why me” I’m pretty sure the next few months will find themselves with less fear and whole lot more joy. I have to learn to give up control and allow this pregnancy to be what it will be. I truly believe everything in life happens to teach us a lesson. Maybe I just needed to be hit in the head with a brick to start learning to say thank you more and less of “I wish life was this way or I wish life was that way” which leads me to another few lessons I’ve had to remind myself of over the last few days.
Life isn’t about worldly success. Life is about learning to love unconditionally. Period. End of story. It isn’t about how you feel people are treating you, but about loving them in return no matter what. It’s about loving people no matter what they may have done to you and in spite of anything they may have done or how they have made you feel. It’s not about giving and hoping they will give back in return but simply giving because it comes from your heart and you truly want to give of yourself. No matter if you have felt wronged, you don’t get to sit around and hold a grudge. You simply must learn to accept and forgive and keep moving forward. These few things are everything and some of the hardest lessons we must learn in this lifetime. If we can learn to accept things and people for who and what they are then we make life so much easier on ourselves. People are doing the best they know how and so we must learn acceptance and not try and change anyone. If we sat around all day wishing life was different we would miss just how incredible life is at this very moment. The only person we can change is ourselves and if we can change our perception of people and the world and learn to be grateful for all of it I think we will find we are much happier in the end.
I’m taking this one from Alex P. Keaton himself….
“My happiness grow in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” -Michael J. Fox
Have a beautiful weekend!